安馨(3歲2個月大)
在2013年裡, 安馨上了人生中第一個幼稚園, 第一個幼稚園上台唱歌表演
會騎腳踏車&溜滑梯, 雙手不扶牆走樓梯, 用吸管喝熊貓豆奶, 唱許多詩歌&兒歌(中, 英, 台語, 西班牙文), 會邊唱歌邊跳舞 (主打歌: 天父的花園, 我要向高山舉目),
會敲鑼打鼓,會刷牙漱口吐牙膏泡泡, 會3以內的加減法, 會數實物1-10 (match number of objects, for example 葡萄, 杯子), 會禱告, 臉會浸在水中閉氣2秒, 會舉一反三, 會用衛生紙擤鼻涕, 會主動問把拔馬麻有Happy嗎, 會主動跟人打招呼說Hi
看著安馨每一天都有呵呵的招牌笑聲 非常的感恩^_^
祝大家在2014年裡 天天呵呵笑
Happy New Year!
【防女童被性侵，一位媽媽改寫了童話故事...】
每次看見女童被性侵的新聞，
我都非常難過，因為我們都有兒女。
如果機械地告誡孩子“要小心男老師和校長，
他們有可能會傷害你”，就會讓孩子喪失對世界的信任，甚至令她對異性產生恐懼，影響她未來的婚戀觀。
到底要怎麼做，才能既提醒女兒，又不會傷害到她呢？
有一天，我看了一部電影《美麗人生》，突然有了靈感。這個電影講的是納粹時期的故事，全家被抓入集中營後，父親為了不讓孩子留下心理陰影，就對兒子說，集中營裡發生的一切都只是一個遊戲，只要不違反遊戲規則，就能獲得一部坦克。
雖然集中營的生活很恐怖，但是孩子卻快樂地生存下來，直至獲救，心中依然充滿愛與希望……
我決定像這位聰明的父親一樣，用一種柔和的方式，幫女兒建立起保護自己的意識—改編童話故事。
女兒很喜歡芭比娃娃，有很濃的“公主”情結。所以，
我特地在她6歲生日那天，送了一個美麗的芭比公主玩偶給她，並且溫柔地說：“做公主可不是那麼容易的，她們必須遵守芭比學校的公主守則。否則就算穿得再漂亮，也不是真正的公主。”
聽了我的話，
女兒連忙追問：“那芭比學校有什麼公主守則呢？”
“我每天給你講一個故事，每個故事裡都有一條公主守則，怎麼樣？”
“好呀好呀，我最喜歡聽故事了！
”女兒歡呼雀躍道。
我給女兒講的第一個故事是《新白雪公主》：
“白雪公主深知男女有別，所以雖然跟7個小矮人是好朋友，但每次洗澡和換衣服時，她都會關好門窗，而且每晚都會回自己的房間睡覺。
其實白雪公主，並沒有真的吃下巫婆給的毒蘋果。她趁巫婆不注意，偷偷換了一個好蘋果，然後假裝中毒。如果真的中毒，怎麼會那麼容易就活過來呢？
白雪公主會換蘋果，是因為她知道，公主不能吃陌生人給的食物，否則自己就會有危險。
而且當時小矮人不在家，如果直接揭穿巫婆的詭計，她可能會受到傷害……”
女兒驚訝地叫道：“原來是這樣呀！
我就覺得白雪公主不該那麼笨，
死了一次又一次，否則王子怎麼會喜歡她呢？”
接下來的一段時間，我又對《灰姑娘》《豌豆公主》等童話，進行了改編：“灰姑娘之所以要在12點之前趕回家，不僅僅是怕美麗的衣服和鞋子被打回原形，還有一個原因是，她覺得一個好女孩，不應該在外面待到太晚。
正因為她的堅持，王子才被她深深打動了，
認為她不只擁有美貌，
而且還是個自尊自愛的好姑娘，適合當未來的王后……”
“在得知豌豆姑娘是真正的公主之後，
王子高興地送了一條項鍊給公主，
並邀請公主當晚留宿在自己的房間裡。
公主果斷地拒絕，並且告訴王子，
真正的公主在婚禮之前，
是不會跟男子住在同一個房間的，
也不會隨便接受別人的禮物。
你的做法不像一位真正的王子，所以我不會同你結婚。
後來王子意識到了自己的錯誤，再三向公主道歉，
並且保證在結婚之前一定不會冒犯公主，
豌豆公主這才原諒了他……”
不知不覺中，我改編了十幾個童話。
我充分發揮自己的想像力，盡量把故事講得生動有趣，女兒也饒有興致地從中總結出了許多公主守則，比如背心褲衩覆蓋的地方絕不能讓人摸、不能接受陌生人的飲水食物、不要跟男子獨處一室，就算是自己的長輩、老師或者校長也不可以……
有時候，女兒也會發牢騷，
問我：“王子不是負責保護公主的嗎，
為什麼公主還要這麼小心翼翼地保護自己呢？”
我告訴女兒：“王子要等公主20歲以後才會出現。
在王子出現之前，公主必須學會保護自己，
優雅而高貴地活下去。
如果公主因為不會保護自己而受到傷害，
那麼她可能等不到王子出現的那一天，
就變成天上的星星了。
而且，如果公主什麼也不做，
只會被動地等待王子拯救，她或許因為美貌一時吸引王子，但是不會被王子所尊重，更不會成為王子的妻子。
”聽了我的話，女兒似懂非懂地點點頭。
經過一段時間的訓練，我幫助女兒建立起了較強的防護意識。
現在的她，非常有原則，也懂得巧妙地保護自己。
有一次，我因為有事把女兒託給開精品店的妹妹照顧。
妹妹臨時外出進貨，店裡只剩下女兒和一個年輕的男店員，於是女兒便跑到隔壁一對夫婦開的店裡玩，直到妹妹回來才返回店中。
妹妹問她為什麼不待在店裡看電視，她當時沒說什麼，事後卻悄悄告訴小姨，公主要懂得保護自己，所以最好不要跟男生單獨待在一起。
自己之所以剛才沒說，是怕店員哥哥不高興……
妹妹告訴我這件事時，我很高興：對一個母親來說，能賦予孩子保護自己的能力，讓她像一株帶刺的玫瑰，安全而美麗地綻放，還有什麼比這更值得欣慰的呢？
這篇如何提高小公主們的自我保護意識 - 芭比學校的公主守則，獻給所有的母親和孩子....
(網路文章)
20 Marriage Tips Everyone Needs to Know
Below are 20 wise marriage tips from a man that was recently
divorced. You wouldn’t normally think that a divorced man would give
good advice on being a husband, but this man has been through enough
hardship to know what is worth fighting for:
MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:
Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about
my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of
things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I
loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I
would have had…
1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take
that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to
be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This
is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted
with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the
protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance.
Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special
place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep
that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to
let anyone or anything else enter there.
3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly
change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in
five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will
come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T
HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may
give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may
never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you
did when you were courting her.
4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you
focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is
reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but
be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see
anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the
luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.
5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as
she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes,
love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your
wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are
responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy
will spill over into your relationship and your love.
7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is
only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR
emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take
time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside
of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman
because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood
wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you
heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will
wonder why you ever were.
Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your
job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let
her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are
that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about
change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out,
and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her
soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong
and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really
saying behind the words and emotion.
9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific
ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to
create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those
things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.
11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your
attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that
when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would
your most valuable client. She is.
12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power
of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your
strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let
her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you
fully.
13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You
will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes,
and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect,
just try to not be too stupid.
14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and
sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself.
Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what
feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with
new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get
the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have
kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find
herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)
15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be
willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your
mistakes.
16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be
willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to
share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let
her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that
courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as
your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask
around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience
the full dimension of what love can be.
17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria,
the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural
process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop
working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to
work towards.
18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work
together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight.
Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.
19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying
weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding
onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor
to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the
anchor loose and always choose love.
20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In
the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding
principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing
that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always
endure.
In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work.
And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually
invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that
work, the happiness will come.
Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of
the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will
bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a
time.
These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.
But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying
forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get
married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that
will endure any storm and any amount of time.
If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those
those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those
couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those
men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps
something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady
has been waiting for.
The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.
If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to
be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of
where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while
there is time.
MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no
greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from
you.
Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.
