「妻子的空位」 一位單親爸爸的心聲 ～

今天看了  一位單親爸爸的心聲 ～ 「妻子的空位」
心裡想著    有爸爸 媽媽的小孩真幸福
不論是  少了爸爸  或是  少了媽媽
都是小孩生命裡   永遠無法修補的缺口

安馨爸兩歲的時候    他的親生爸爸就生病過世了
安馨爸跟我說
他從小到大  就很不喜歡  運動會 或是  家長會
因為老師同學們都期待爸媽們到場    只有他沒有

我想    沒有爸媽陪伴  關愛  呵護 的小孩成長都是辛苦的
而這些辛苦    是無法用言語描述清楚的

很感謝上帝    讓我的爸爸 媽媽 (安馨的阿公阿媽) 都很健康平安
 所以      安馨的阿公阿媽     要長命百歲喔
安馨爸和安馨媽 也會努力活著    不會離開小安馨的


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「妻子的空位」 一位單親爸爸的心聲 ～


我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了，我想，妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子，她的心有何等難過呢？我也因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折。有一天我為了出差，清晨趕出門，無法將孩子打點好就得離開家，正巧前一天有剩下的飯，我熱了蒸蛋，向還沒有睡醒的孩子交代一聲，就出門去了。

為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事，我也無力把自己的工作做好。有一天晚上回到家，我只是很簡短地和孩子打個招呼，就因為身體疲累，不想吃晚餐，脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下。就在那個時候，砰的一聲，紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單和被單，原來有碗泡麵在棉被裡！這小子真是的，說時遲那時快，我即時拿起一個衣架，跑出去，往正玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打，因為我實在是太生氣了，所以不停地打他。但就在這個時候，他邊啜泣邊說了一段話，使我停了下來。

兒子告訴我說：「飯鍋裡的飯早上已經吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還不回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵。可是我想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃。因為怕泡麵涼掉，所以我就把它放在棉被裡，等你回來。可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講。」

我不想讓兒子看到我在流淚，所以衝到洗手間，將水龍頭打開，大聲地哭。過了一陣子之後，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面也在他屁股上擦藥，讓他上床睡覺。當我清理好泡麵弄髒的床單和棉被後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍舊發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片。我把頭靠在房門站了許久，看著這一幕。

自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心地去照顧他。現在兒子快七歲了，不久後就要從幼稚園畢業，進入國小讀書。慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗地成長。就在不久前，我再一次打孩子，因為幼稚園來電話說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大聲地喊他的名字，卻是遍尋不著。後來在文具店的門口，看見他站在電玩的前面，於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他。兒子並沒有說出任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起。後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去看才藝表演的日子。

發生這些事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園裡學了寫字，從此他經常關在自己的房間裡不出來，很認真地寫字。我看到兒子這個樣子，想到妻子在天國也一定會因為看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水。時間很快，又過了一年，到了冬天，街頭上都在播放著聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍。我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一綑沒有寫地址的信，惡作劇地放在郵筒裡。每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾。雖然我已決定不再打孩子，但在急忙趕回家後，叫了兒子來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓。兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由。我把他推到一個角落，不管了，自個兒跑到郵局領回那一綑惡作劇的信。

我把信丟到他眼前說：「你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？」

兒子哭著回答說：「這些信是我要寄給媽媽的。」

當時我的眼眶紅了起來，心裡很激動，但是因為在兒子面前，所以我盡量隱忍住沒有表現出來。

我接著問他：「那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？」

兒子回答說：「以前我要把信投進去的時候，因為個兒太矮，所以沒辦法投入，但是最近我再去郵筒時，已經搆得到了，所以我就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部都投進入了。」

我聽了以後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話。過了不久以後，我就跟他說：「媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去。」

等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信。我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信。

而當中有一封信攪動了我的心。

親愛的媽媽：

我很想念你！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但是因為我沒有媽媽，所以沒有去參加，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽。爸爸到處去找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到我很開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具面前，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我到最後也沒有告訴他原因。媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很想念媽媽吧！但是，媽，我現在已經記不清楚你的臉。媽媽，請你讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到你的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人。可是，媽媽，為什麼你沒有出現在我的夢裡呢？」

讀完這封信以後，我就開始嚎啕大哭。到底什麼時候，我才能填補妻子的空位呢？

安馨小啾啾愛笑篇 Part1 (安馨小啾啾2個月大)

安馨小啾啾是個粉愛笑的寶寶喔~

To Sleep or Not To Sleep, that is the question.

How much sleep does your child need?

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As a new parent, that's probably one of your biggest questions. Below are some general guidelines as to how many hours of sleep the average child requires at various ages. Of course, every child is different — some need up to two hours more or less sleep than others.

Age	Nighttime Sleep	Daytime Sleep *	Total Sleep
1 month	8 1/2	7 (3)	15 1/2
3 months	10	5 (3)	15
6 months	11	3 1/4 (2)	14 1/4
9 months	11	3 (2)	14
12 months	11 1/4	2 1/2 (2)	13 3/4
18 months	11 1/4	2 1/4 (1)	13 1/2
2 years	11	2 (1)	13
3 years	10 1/2	1 1/2 (1)	12
*Note: number of naps in parentheses

Keep in mind that most children need lots of sleep. Often, says BabyCenter sleep expert Jodi Mindell, author of Sleeping Through the Night, if a child has poor sleep habits or refuses to go to bed before 11 at night, his parents will think that he just doesn't need a lot of sleep. That's probably not true — in fact, it's likely that such a child is actually sleep-deprived. To see whether your child falls into that camp, ask yourself these questions:

• Does your child fall asleep almost every time he's in a car?
• Do you have to wake your child almost every morning?
• Does your child seem cranky, irritable, or overtired during the day?
• On some nights, does your child seem to crash much earlier than his usual bedtime?

Baby sleep: Seven tips

Seven great tips from parents and experts for getting your baby to sleep.

If you answered "yes" to any of these, your child may be getting less sleep than he needs. To change this pattern, you'll need to help him develop good sleep habits and set an appropriate bedtime. "Then he'll get all the sleep he needs to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed," Mindell says.

For more information on helping your baby sleep well, see the basics for birth to 3 months, 3 to 6 months, 6 to 9 months, and 9 to 12 months. You can also find out all about baby sleep and feeding schedules and encouraging your newborn's emerging routine.

Eventually your child will stop napping and start doing all of his sleeping at night. Preschoolers and young elementary school students still need up to ten or 11 hours of sleep a night, but that amount will gradually diminish. By the time he's a teenager, your child will need only about nine or ten hours of shut-eye per night. To find out more about children's sleep patterns, take our baby sleep quiz.

安馨小啾啾第一個聖誕節和New Year: Merry Christmas and Happy 2011

Milestone chart: 7 to 12 months

Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board

Child's Age	Mastered Skills (most kids can do)	Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)	Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
7 months	Sits without support Drags objects toward herself	Lunges forward or starts crawling Jabbers or combines syllables Starts to experience stranger anxiety	Waves goodbye Stands while holding onto something Bangs objects together Begins to understand object permanence
8 months	Says "mama" and "dada" to both parents (isn't specific) Passes objects from hand to hand	Stands while holding onto something Crawls Points at objects Searches for hidden objects	Pulls self to standing, cruises Picks things up with thumb-finger pincer grasp Indicates wants with gestures
9 months	Stands while holding onto something Jabbers or combines syllables Understands object permanence	Cruises while holding onto furniture Drinks from a sippy cup Eats with fingers Bangs objects together	Plays patty-cake and peek-a-boo Says "mama" and "dada" to the correct parent
10 months	Waves goodbye Picks things up with pincer grasp Crawls well, with belly off the ground	Says "mama" and "dada" to the correct parent Indicates wants with gestures	Stands alone for a couple of seconds Puts objects into a container
11 months	Says "mama" and "dada" to the correct parent Plays patty-cake and peek-a-boo Stands alone for a couple of seconds Cruises	Understands "no" and simple instructions Puts objects into a container	Says one word besides "mama" and "dada" Stoops from standing position
12 months	Imitates others' activities Indicates wants with gestures	Takes a few steps Says one word besides "mama" and "dada"	Walks alone Scribbles with a crayon Says two words besides "mama" and "dada"

On to the next chart: 13 to 18 months

Milestone chart: 1 to 6 months

Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board

Child's Age	Mastered Skills (most kids can do)	Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)	Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
1 month	Lifts head when lying on tummy Responds to sound Stares at faces	Follows objects briefly with eyes Vocalizes: oohs and aahs Can see black-and-white patterns	Smiles, laughs Holds head at 45-degree angle
2 months	Vocalizes: gurgles and coos Follows objects across field of vision Notices his hands Holds head up for short periods	Smiles, laughs Holds head at 45-degree angle Makes smoother movements	Holds head steady Can bear weight on legs Lifts head and shoulders when lying on tummy (mini-pushup)
3 months	Recognizes your face and scent Holds head steady Visually tracks moving objects	Squeals, gurgles, coos Blows bubbles Recognizes your voice Does mini-pushup	Rolls over, from tummy to back Turns toward loud sounds Can bring hands together, bats at toys
4 months	Smiles, laughs Can bear weight on legs Coos when you talk to him	Can grasp a toy Rolls over, from tummy to back	Imitates sounds: "baba," "dada" Cuts first tooth May be ready for solid foods
5 months	Distinguishes between bold colors Plays with his hands and feet	Recognizes own name Turns toward new sounds Rolls over in both directions	Sits momentarily without support Mouths objects Separation anxiety may begin
6 months	Turns toward sounds and voices Imitates sounds Rolls over in both directions	Is ready for solid foods Sits without support Mouths objects Passes objects from hand to hand	Lunges forward or starts crawling Jabbers or combines syllables Drags objects toward himself

長達半年的搬家終於告一段落 (12/15/2010): 我要向高山舉目

長達半年的搬家紀事:
6/27/2010 (懷孕7月): 從Pittsburgh, 帶著肚肚裡的安馨小啾啾來到 加州 [從美東搬到美西], 將所有的東西留在Pittsburgh的Storage(倉庫)裡
8/5/2010 (懷孕8月): 原本預定可以租 住的地方, 在晚上10pm, 突然知道不租給我們 了
8/6/2010 (懷孕8月): 感謝上帝, 沒地方住的我們, 粉有效率地只花了一天, 就在人生地不熟的 加州找到了one bedroom apartment (公寓)
8/7/2010 (懷孕8月): 訂下了one bedroom apartment (公寓)的租約
8/8/2010 (父親節): 在加州搬到one bedroom apartment (公寓), 開始了打地鋪的生活
9/28/2010: 安馨小啾啾出生了
10/1/2010: 安馨小啾啾出院 見天日, 家裡唯一的家具就是安馨小啾啾的嬰兒床
11/26/2010 (安馨小啾啾 快2個月大): 安馨小啾啾背著尿布搬家去, 搬進安馨拔吧 和  安馨馬麻  歷經千辛萬苦   跋山涉水找到的新家
12/15/2010 (安馨小啾啾 2個月大): 搬家公司將Pittsburgh Storage(倉庫)裡的東東 搬來新家, 終於告別打地鋪的生活, 開始了與一堆大大小小的箱子 生活在一起的日子


X/X/2011 (安馨小啾啾 N個月大): 甚麼時候才會將箱子整理完哩???


長達半年的搬家過程, 對於安馨小啾啾,安馨拔吧 和  安馨馬麻來說, 真的不輕鬆
恩~
上帝阿, 不要再讓我們搬家囉!

【我要向高山舉目】[國語]
詩集：讚美之泉 12 - 永遠尊貴、最珍貴的角落，56

我要向高山舉目，我的幫助從何來？
我的幫助從造天地的耶和華而來。
我要向高山舉目，我的幫助從何來？
我的幫助從造天地的耶和華而來。
哈利路亞，哈利路亞，哈利路亞，哈利路。
哈利路亞，哈利路亞，哈利路亞，哈利路。
我的幫助從造天地的耶和華而來。